Her day was like any other day, until she received the call. The distant voice on the other end explaining her daughter had been in a fatal accident. As she held the phone, the static noise was heard. She continued to clinch the phone even after the call had ended. This was her last connection to her sweet sixteen year old. She stood in tears and screamed, “NO! NO!”NO!” as the lump in her throat grew large. DENIAL! Her life had forever changed.
Trauma was faced. Shock and denial had set in.
Some of us may be able to relate to a similar life tragedy. A psychological whirlwind blew in and left us in a place of unconscious denial. This type of denial may be normal and somewhat, helpful. But, if the denial remains…you may need to find healthy ways to cope.
Have you ever been faced with denial?
If you have ever been faced with a fact, condition, or life changing event that has been too uncomfortable to accept but rather, rejected it…then you have been in denial. Denial comes in many forms. In fact, it is totally possible to deny denial.
Sometimes, we may feel trapped from our hurts, habits and hangups. Sometimes we can get stuck in the past from our bad decisions and afraid to move forward. We worry about the turns, twists and unseen curves in the road ahead…unsure of which way to go. We can’t go back but don’t want to go forward and staying where we are isn’t a choice.
We say, “I’m ok. I don’t need to change.”
What do we do?
Let’s first look at what D E N I A L does:
D isables- our feelings. If we hide and bury our feelings and live in denial, our emotions become frozen and traps us.
E nergy Lost– but if we move that energy which maintains our denial into an active learning through God’s Word, a healthier love for self and others will occur.
N egates Growth– Growth is stunted through denial but God can remove us from the darkness and allow light to break through. All we have to do is take the first step.
I solates– We can never be in a true relationship with God as long as we deny our struggles and secrets.
A lienates– Denial distances us from others because we are afraid to reveal our true selves. We fear what others may think.
L engthens the Pain– By allowing denial to grow and causing guilt and shame just lengthen the pain even longer.
As we can see, denial may only be short six letter word, but it can cause long-term issues, if we allow it. Denial is a road block…a roadblock that keeps us from discovering and experiencing the freedom of God. We look at freedom as doing what we want to do. But true freedom of God is actually not about the things we are free to do, but rather, freedom from things we are not to do. If we experience this type of freedom, we are free to make better choices and not mess up our lives.
Have you seen denial in others? Are you denying something in your life? It may be easier to see denial in others rather than in ourselves. Truth is a lot like surgery: It hurts but it heals. But if you are stuck in a negative situation and are in denial, just think about the potential negative consequences you may face if action isn’t taken.
Please allow yourself to open up and express your fears and emotions. Examine yourself and if you think you’re stuck in denial, seek advice from a trusted friend, or support group.
In Jeremiah 30:17 (NIV): God promises, “But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds.”
I leave you with the Serenity Prayer:
God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change what I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as a pathway to peace;
Taking, as Jesus did, the sinful world as it is;
Not as I would have it;
Trusting that you will make all things right
If I surrender to your will; So that I
may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with you
forever in the next.
Please come back next week to read about being “POWERLESS”
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